Christmas story-time with my boys...

Call me silly but I just LOVE reading to my boys!

Maybe it's because I so loved being read to as a child.

Maybe it's because I loved sharing the gift of having been read to by reading to the kiddoes I babysat as a teenager.

Maybe it's because I loved sharing books in reading to my niece and nephew on the rare occasions we were fortunate enough to get to visit with them when they were small.

Maybe it's because I just love children's books so much and wasn't blessed with being able to have human kiddoes of my own but still feel the need to share.

All I do know for sure is that I love my boys and I love books and as long as they'll lay and listen, I will continue to read to them.

My ultimate goal in life was to write children's books but it isn't the easiest business to break into, I very quickly found. Still, I write, I share and I hold great love and admiration for those who have found their way into for-reals print!

Because it's so close to Christmas, I thought I would share with you one of our absolute favourite of Christmas storybooks... so favourite it is, that we read it daily through the holidays and as 'special book time' intermittently throughout the year. I know that there are many different beliefs and ways that people celebrate this Season now upon us and because I love and celebrate the birth of Baby Jesus, well, this book is just a gem in our family beliefs and celebrations.

So, if you are looking for a fun and heartwarming story of needing, wanting, scheming-to-get and of ultimately giving the gift of ones own greatest treasure... then I highly recommend giving this beautiful book of Humphrey's FIRST CHRISTMAS by the beautifully talented Carol Heyer a chance at maybe becoming a favourite of your own heart!

Do you have a favourite Christmas storybook you love to share with anyone who will grace you with the time to listen? What are the stories that help keep your own special Holiday Spirit alive and believing? Please, share them with us... who knows, your favourite might just find its way to becoming someone else's new favourite, too!

Christmas gift of quiet...

Six or seven years ago, Enz and I made a conscious decision to stop exchanging Christmas gifts. Our decision had nothing to do with money or grinchiness, we just finally grew to see that the gifts just simply weren't adding up to the right sum. Showering with tangible gifts is important for my mom and so we, of course, continue the giftage tradition with our families but for us it's made a really big difference in keeping Christmas comfortable and without the extra frustrations of gift figuring and finding. And even though this year was to be no different in the fact that Enz and I will not be exchanging gifts, he gave me maybe the GREATEST gift of all just last week...

Enz cancelled our television subscription!!!

Big deal, right??? Well, it actually IS a really big deal!!! Enz was raised in a family where watching television is evvvvverything! TV sets were in every room of the house he grew up in, including the kitchen, and were alwayyys ON with too much to watch via massive satellite dish. I hated going over there when we were dating because of the constant noise and even today when we walk into my pa-in-law's house the living room television is blaring with either game shows or Italian talk shows and the kitchen set is on the other but at lesser volume... I have become much more comfortable over the years  to reach for the remote and turn down the volume myself but once I told him a tiny fib (but not actually a fib) that the boys ears are extra sensitive, Nonno is getting quick at turning down the noise so the boys are comfortable there, too.

Growing up in my family was extremely different in the television-watching department; we had one television set in the den and the most basic of turn-dial programming but later on we did get an old monitor for Atari and then ColecoVision games set up in my dad's office. Mostly, if we watched television at all, it was rented movies we watched and a very few network shows like The Duke Boys (aka The Dukes of Hazzard), Growing Pains, Who's the Boss and my dad loved M*A*S*H... I don't really remember ever watching anything else. Us kids would come home from school every day, change into our after-school clothes and head outside to play with our friends until dinnertime, then we had family dinner followed by kitchen cleanup chore time. Then our parents would have their tea in the living room, where there was no TV, while reading the newspaper and my brother, sister and I would get our homework done at the table asking Mom, Dad or each other for help when needed. My brother was five years older than me so afterward he would usually retreat to watch a show or play his video games before bed but my sister would disappear into her My Little Pony world and I would usually just read before sleepytime. Television just wasn't that important in our house.

It took a very long time for me to become okay with the fact that Enz needed so many televisions in our house (but I have stuck to my guns and both the kitchen and loft are still television FREE) and that he had to switch it on the very instant he walked in the door after work. He also has to sit and watch while he has his breakfast before going to work which still makes me a little crazy even after all these years... I like to be up early but I don't like to start my day with unnecessary noise so I don't get up until he is gone for the day so I don't disturb his morning or my own. Heaven forbid I say hello or ask a question when he's concentrating on a show! And that's really just it, he watches 'shows' and not even shows he's interested in but shows to just distract him from whatever he can't seem to deal with in the quiet. To be completely honest, there are shows that I like to watch, too... but I am not willing to sit through mind-numbing loud ads to watch them and the few series and movies that I love to get lost in, I order on DVD. Hallmark Channel movies, Startgates, Star Treks and Doctor Quinns are enough for me when I have rare sick-in-bed days but I am not exaggerating when I say that when my boys and I are home alone the television does not get switched on and the quiet is perfection! I do have to admit that I also love one current reality show... The Curse of Oak Island, but I get that on DVD, too because the extra upped noise of ads totally suck! But I could very happily do with just books, puzzles and games to help pass any extra time.

So for the past few months I have been mentioning to Enz that having cable is really a big waste, especially since he has been spending so much time working at the cabin. He was having none of my 'why don't we just get rid of the cable subscription' suggestions... until a few weeks ago when he suddenly started complaining about the constant repeat programming. Hmmm, well maybe if he didn't watch SOOOOO much television they wouldn't all be reruns.....

Anyhow... last week, he finally called and did what I thought he would never, ever do. He called and he cancelled the cable.

Now, because of Enz's television addiction we have not really shared the living room in probably fifteen years or more. The boys and I spend time in there during the day sometimes but after dinner we retreat to the workshop or the bedroom and to the quiet once Enz turns on the noise and settles to watch his show noise. The most concerning part of Enz watching hours of television was that once he finally came to bed three or four hours later he would always announce angrily that "there is absolutely NOTHING worthwhile on TV!!" but he had still sat there and wasted those hours clicking through channels!

Enz cancelled the cable on Thursday, then got home late on Friday due to his work Christmas party so Saturday was our first real and full day without the television on... and what an awesome day it was! Enz had to go out to look at a stove with his dad in the morning and then we all took a drive out to drop insulation bundles at our camp in the afternoon. Once we were home and had finished with dinner, we ALL four sat together in the living room... the Christmas tree lights were on and we were all bundled in blankies, thanks to being chilled from our chilly camp visit; Enz on the love seat with his iPad'n'coffee'n'ChristmasCookie, me on the couch doing a crossword puzzle with coffee'n'ChristmasCookie, Day sleeping cuddled up behind my curled legs and Play sleeping roach-style on his bed below me, one leg stretched up so his paw rested against my knee...

.....it was quiet, tree-lighted, relaxed easiness and it was the best Christmas gift I ever could have asked for! Time spent just being and not just spent in noisiness. So far, Enz is saying he hasn't missed TV at all so I sure hope the quiet sticks around, sure looks like it actually just might!

Christmas trees have never let me down...

.....until this year.

I had a new plan, a new vision for this year of decorating for the Christmas season I so cherish but my grand plan ultimately eluded me. I mentioned to Enz, awhile back, that even just the thought of putting up the up-side down tree was getting me down; it's as difficult to decorate as it is beautiful (well, beautiful to me anyhow) and being unable to skip up and down the ladder as I used to, it just made sense to go back to a plain old rightside-up tree this year. Of course, I didn't want to bring the big tree back into the house from my workshop because I love having it's constant comfort when I'm working away my boredom out there... which meant we were on the hunt for new Christmas trees.

I asked Enz for four weeks if we could go out to look at trees but he had more important things he wanted to do, mostly he just doesn't like the slow time it takes me to get around in stores and was just avoiding having to take me. I quickly gave up asking to go out (even though I desperately need out of this house) and started looking on-line but you might be as surprised as I was to find that there really aren't a lot of artificial Christmas tree sellers on the web. I was certain there would be TONS of retail options... but there just simply isn't. I did happen across the sweetest trees in a store in the US and thought they would be perfect for our cabin and set to ordering upon first sight. Those trees were not to be. Bit of a long story about how I found and then just as quickly lost my dream Christmas trees so I'll just skip over the hooplah and share our new make-do tree instead.

I should also mention that once my dream trees had been lost to me, I had searched further and found another tree that healed my disappointment in it's own different look of perfect but because we were searching so desperately late in the season, the nine foot tree I had my heart newly set on had already been sold out; we will be keeping watch on that beautiful gem for when it comes available again!

Anyhow, I had been elated when I found the trees I had envisioned and devastated when they disappeared on me but still, we needed a tree. And so I sent Enz on a small-skinny-tree finding mission. He stopped in to a store at lunchtime one day and called me about a tree he said was "alright for this year" so I said "whatever, as long as it's a slim-line because I wasn't going through the hassle of rearranging furniture for a tree that wasn't my vision and was just "alright for this year"...

Which brought us to here.....

Play was a little put out that his dad just brought the tree and then left
to go back to work again.

But he was also pretty happy with the drop-off package...
"Hey, Day, come look... it's act'lly a pretty nice looking one!"

"It does look nice, Play... And you know this means
Christmas tree-decorating snacks, too, right??!"

"Can we open it, Mama? I think you just need to cut this strap right here..."

It looked okay but it still wasn't calling me to open it as it seemed to be for the boys.....

The tree sat in the box at the front door, unmoved like this, for three days before Enz finally talked me into setting it up with the promise that if I didn't like the first two tree sections he would return it the following day. Fine. Whatever. We set the tree up. I didn't like it. But Enz said, "It's actually not a bad tree, I kind'a like it..." Well, I didn't like it but just because my eyes were not impressed, I wasn't about to upset his sights of the 'liking variety' because that wouldn't be very Christmassy of me, at all! So, we kept the tree.

The tree I actually wanted had colour + clear lights which I absolutely LOVED and had my heart set on. We've always had clear lights on our trees and we both wanted a full-on change this year with coloured lights but the colours just seemed a little harsh on their own so when I found the mixture, it was just perfect... so perfect that they were sold out, in fact!!! But that's okay, at least I know a lot of people are loving those colour + clear lighted trees. Enz had carefully chosen a tree that has both colour and clear light options as well as an alternating option but nothing offered the solid colour + clear steady option, still I appreciate that he tried. He knew I wasn't happy even though I said it was "okay" and he asked me if I wanted to put the star lights on to mix at least a little clear into the colour even though it wouldn't be the same. I really didn't want to. I didn't like the tree itself, I didn't like the lights and I didn't want to waste any extra effort on a tree that wasn't right. But I agreed and we added the lights. And then the tree sat bare but for its lights over the next few days. I was okay with not decorating this tree further.

But on the fourth day of turning on the tree lights that had no ornaments to shine upon, Enz suggested we just take a drive into town and buy all new ornament for this tree for this one year and just have a brand new Christmas view. No, I didn't want to do that, the lights and ugly tree were enough...

We had put the star lights on and it did help to soften the glow. And suddenly, on the fifth morning while having my coffee in that softer glow I realized something... I realized that perfect isn't always 'perfect'. And that's when a new vision of perfect came to me.

Plaid.

This tree, the tree I had been so hard on, so critical of... deserved plaid. This tree would be plaidly glad and I immediately set to making it happen. My boys and I headed out to the workshop, stopping only to steal a pair of Enz's plaid pyjama pants on our way outside because I certainly wasn't about to sacrifice any of my own beloved plaid for my new grand plan... just in case my ornament idea didn't work out and the plaid had been sacrificed for nothing!

Day really wanted to decorate the tree... mostly because he LOVES our annual tree decorating snack time... and so I promised him that we would decorate with the few ornaments we had made in the workshop which would totally count as 'decorating' but that we had to wait until Dad came home to share the moments and snacks all together.



I do not remember a single Christmas when
this was not our tree-decorating snack treat of
awesomeness... Enz could do without it but it's
a tradition I demand we carry on!

 

Dad just couldn't come home fast enough even
though Day waited in constant watch for his vehicle
to start up the road...

Now, the necessity for new ornaments does not come from lack of Christmas decorations; we have collected too many over the years...

This front closet, aside from the coat-hanging rod, is dedicated completely to tidy ease of Christmas decoration storage. Every bin, every drawer is filled with decorations and it opens under the stairs into an L-shape at the far end where we store the big tree as well as the loft trees and stair/railing garlands.

Play is going to LOVE his Christmas garland pool ball ornaments
hung from the stair banisters in front of his all-time favourite nap-spot!

My grand ornament idea actually worked out and not only in my newly desired style but also in lifting my spirits and my hopes for perfectly unperfectness.

Thanks to the well-intended sacrifice of Enz's pyjamas along with the well-intended sacrifice of a workshop tree
ornament, a hot-glue gun and some stretchy jewellery cord... a plaid ornament was born!

When Enz finally did arrive home I told him of my new plaid plan for this sad little tree that he actually liked and I showed him the ornament I had made. I was shocked that he really liked the idea and the ornament and even better... he didn't recognize the plaid so I didn't have to own up to cutting up his pj's! He asked me if I wanted him to go to the craft store and see if he could find plastic ornament balls but I asked instead that he take a run to the fabric store for plaids since I was willing to just recover the shop ornaments because they worked so well.

It turned out to be incredibly healing for me to be able to put so much of my own self into giving this tree just what I felt it had been waiting for, to make it beautiful in my own heart. And as I worked away on making these simple, homey, however each one individually turned-out ornaments I heard my beloved Kenny Rogers singing 'Kentucky Homemade Christmas' in my mind and that's when I decided that this tree was to be entirely fashioned out in homemade love. I set to work over the next days, bringing ornaments of plaid into being...



Simple, plaid...
it changes everything for the better!

All the larger ornaments got to be covered in the
black and white buffalo plaid!



I felt like the snowflakes and sweet lil' burros I made out of salt
dough and painted a few years ago for the loft trees would totally
fit with this homemade plan...



And then I thought a few knitted ornament covers would just soften everything
together so I worked out a quick pattern and knitted them up as we sat and watched a
Hallmark Christmas movie two evenings in a row...

 And, of course, because the tree is to be adorned in plaid... I felt a plaid onesie was a fitting outfit to decorate in... really it was just a perfect excuse to hang out in a comfy onesie!

Play supervised ornament placement from the couch...

...but got up every now and then to correct my 'mistakes in listening'!

And Day... well, once snacks were done..... so was he.

Once our Christmas tree was alllllll plaided, snowflaked and burroed OUT, well... I fell totally in love with it!

The messiness works... for me anyhow!

The Christmas tree that had started, for me, as a disappointment brought me to a place of homemade Christmas peaceful. It may look gaudy and silly but I put all my love into every ornament that helps this little tree to shine in celebration. I live for plaid and sharing my love of plaid with this tree helped remind me of what Christmas really means to me. Christmas means home and family and comfort and that's just what this tree has become to me. Just like in Kentucky Homemade Christmas, "...just odds and ends I fashioned, with me heart and with my hands...."

And so in the end... I wasn't actually 'let down' by a Christmas tree at all and instead was lifted. Sometimes it's just far too easy to find ourselves lost in the rush of the world or the losses we may have suffered. It took a homemade Christmas to make me see what's really most important. Have you ever lost your own Holiday way? How did you find your way through?

Dissin' my mugs? Really??

So, I make no secret of the fact that I just absolutely LOVE Christmas decorations; I love all the swag that decorating for Christmas' has to offer! I never just go crazy with making and buying tons of stuff though, I wait until I find the perfect rather than just settling with what'll do... and my search for the perfect Christmas mugs proved no different.

I thoroughly adore Christmas mugs and growing up I couldn't wait for my mom to get the Christmas mugs out every year so I could curl up in the comfy-sack to watch the Christmas specials while sipping hot chocolate from whichever mug I had carefully chosen and so cherished. My mom's collection is a mish-moshed one, with mugs bought at different times from different places but all special and I love when I get to visit and have coffee in a mug of my childhood! But, when I moved away and started my own Christmas collections well, there just weren't any mugs that seemed able to fit just exactly what I was searching for. And of course there wouldn't be... nostalgia just isn't something that can be bought. And so I waited. But my mom couldn't let me wait and she showed up at the house one day with a set of four Christmas mugs, "I know they aren't exactly what you want, but you need to have Christmas mugs that will even just do until you find your perfect ones," she told me, "they're the un-ugliest ones I could find and I looked EVERYwhere... And I only got you four because I know you don't want a lot of extras to have to get rid of when you find the ones you want." They were actually really nice, simple mugs with trees and wreaths on them and I was so grateful to have them while we needed them.

It took awhile to find the mugs that finally mugged my heart, about thirteen years actually, but I did find them and I do love them still, nine years later. My family members... do not love my beloved Christmas mugs. My sister snickers at them and her husband always says he's not using an ornament mug and gets himself an everyday mug from the cupboard, my aunt complains that the ornament mugs "aren't comfortable to drink from... they're too rounded....." My mom just pours the coffee without saying anything negative but when she doesn't say anything, it actually says a lot.

I don't care, I love my Christmas mugs!!!

Ohhhhh sweet mugs of ornamentness! I have three of each design for a full set
but was able to get three extra blue and one extra green before they were
discontinued... just in case of accidental breakage.



Of, course I also had to have the matching dessert platter... well I got two of the platters
actually; there's always too much Christmas baking to fit on just one!

Ornamentally yours, my family, whether you like them or not!! ;) 

As an extra plus, other than just being so super-duper cute, I really like how the brightly coloured ornament mugs add just little pops of colour when the table is fully set! Everyone also thought I was crazy for wanting all black dishes, including the store owner who tried to talk me out of them twenty-one years ago... I remember exactly what he said to me, "You will NOT like them, food just looks better on white plates, Dear... Trust me, these are not the dishes you want. Now, let me show you what you want....." Clearly I did not listen and I love my dishes as much today as when I first chose them; we use them every single day and they are as beautiful to me now as they were upon first glance and boy, have they stood the test of time with constant indoor/outdoor/dishwasher use for all these years!

Basically, if I love what I love then that's all that really matters, right?!!

When the table is fully set with the ornament mugs... the tiny colour-pops totally overrule the mug dissin'!

And so, as I sat down this morning, with my breakfast-of-champions breakfast which consisted of an ornament mug of coffee and a Blue-Santa cookie I felt even more Christmas perfect beginning to find me once again... I sure am glad I decided I couldn't skip Christmas this year after all!

December breakfasts are seriously the best.....

I want to know... Do you have special Holiday decorations you love but everyone around you despises?? Share with us how you light up with joy while reconnecting with your favourite things as well as how you manage to brush off the constant complaints...

I Love The Big-Rig Parade!!!

I'm not one for parades..... unless it's The Big-Rig Parade!!! I seriously LOVE The Big-Rig Parade, also known by it's actual title The Parade of Lights.

The Big-Rig Parade, which was held this past Saturday evening, has been happening  for close to twenty years now, actually... I think this might have been the eighteenth year and how it's GROWN! Enz and I went with my mom and sister the first year and because I loved it SO MUCH (I have a slight fascination with transport trucks and a crazy dream of one day driving one) I demanded it become our newest tradition. Unfortunately, my mom and sister weren't quite as thoroughly enthralled as I was and continued to attend with us only intermittently through the years. Enz and I missed last years excitement thanks to my annoying physical challenges but this year I was determined to get back out to see the big-rigs!

I was pretty excited to be getting out to see the parade but I was a little nervous, too because usually if I go out anywhere now, it's during the daytime. I'm getting really confident with using my walking sticks but I haven't done much practicing when it's dark outside because it's harder to judge the ground with the shadows enhancing the uneven terrain. But for the Big-Rig Parade... I was willing to risk an embarrassing tumble! So, we bundled up our boys and we headed into town.

The boys were conking out for the ride before we even left the garage...

We felt we were heading in to town late and the parade route being lined with cars wasn't very settling as we kept our eyes peeled for a spot we might come to chance. I had said I was okay if we even just tried to find a space but that I wouldn't be upset if we missed it but boy did my heart lift when we spied two open spots in a little strip-of-businesses parking lot! It really was quite a sight even just searching for a spot, to see every parking lot on either side of the road lined along the roadway, all headlights facing the parade route as people kept warm until start time... it kind of felt like we were IN a parade and being watched just trying to park somewhere! We really lucked out with our spot, especially since so many people leave their cars parked hours ahead for the best spots. We also had arrived with about forty-five minutes before parade start which gave the boys plenty of time to watch and listen to the bustling of excited kiddoes in wait as they ran back and forth from cars to sidewalks to check for first signs. It was really mild out but still too chilly for the boys to stand outside with us because they get cold really quickly without keeping on the move but they were happy to watch from their cozy car nest when Enz and I made our way to the roadside to watch the WAY TOO COOL AWESOMENESS!! Don't worry, we were directly in front of our vehicle and only away by about twenty feet, we kept checking on them and they were toasty and happy and they had a really good view, too... just a slightly warmer one than we had.

My one disappointment of Big-Rig night was that in all my hooplah of getting the boys dressed, getting myself dressed and organized with my walking sticks and getting confident with my bulky boots and mitts and jacket (which without sticks is a WHOLE lot easier)... I had forgotten my camera on the laundry room counter by the door..... Fortunately, Enz's best friend Enzo, who had taken his niece to watch the parade, had remembered his camera and was so kind to say "Sure!" when I asked if he would take a picture or two of actual transport trucks in the parade so I could share a snap or two of our parade right here with you. Thank goodness for friends willing to share! And just in case you're wondering if I accidentally typed Enz followed by Enzo... I didn't; Enz and Enzo have been best friends practically since birth and over fifty years later that friendship is still running strong! It actually gets confusing with all the Enzo's at times because my Enzo and his uncle of the same approximate age, as well as about six of his cousins (and these are ALL first-cousins), all here in town, are all named Vincenzo, with most going by Enzo and only one who goes by Vince or Vinny. Anyhow... enough about the Enzo's and back to the Big-Rigs woohooooo!!!!!

And the Big-Rigs were OUTSTANDING!!!

Photo credit to Enzo Pasqualino

Photo credit to Enzo Pasqualino
Thanks for sharing your beautiful photos with the scatterbrain who forgot her camera!

I mentioned before that the Big-Rig Parade (I'm saying it a LOT because I just really love saying Big-Rig Parade!) had grown and it really has. The first year parades were short in comparison to the now usually eighty(plus) vehicle floats. I call them vehicle floats because the parade has expanded over the years to include vehicles other than just the super cool Big-Rigs, dump trucks and heavy machinery; now there are buses, pick-ups, tiny cars and this year the Jeep club was there with an awful lot of jeeps and although I appreciate the work that the drivers put into decorating their rides I will wholeheartedly admit that I am on high alert on waiting for the few true Big-Rigs, dump trucks and heavy machinery still holding it all together for my tradition-loving heart! Even though there are now so many different types of vehicles in the Big-Rig Parade, the parade wouldn't happen at all without the support of our tightknit Thunder Bay Trucking Community and I, along with so many others, are thankful for their willingness to not only decorate but also in sharing their beautiful rides with those of us who wait all year long to watch in awe as their rigs light up the chilly evening sky!

And maybe one of the best things about living in a small city is the fact that The Big-Rig Parade doesn't necessarily have to be over when it ends... We hardly ever have traffic hold-ups in town but because the parade brings out SO many people our roads home were unusually full for a couple of blocks as everyone headed on their way. And how fortunate were we to be following right behind two of the beautiful big-rigs??!!!

Following beautiful! It was a magical drive home!
Enz explained how to use his cell camera so I could snap this lil' memory gem. 

Below is a link to the Parade of Lights website  which shares a little of how the proceeds of the parade are divided between various beautiful charities to help people with special needs in our community...

http://www.paradeoflights.ca/

Do you have a special community outing that never fails to help you find your Holiday spirit? Share with us in the comments section below!

Cookies for my Christmas spirit to share...

Well, it's December 1st, and for every year since we decided to give artificial trees a try just so we could decorate earlier... this is the 1st December 1st that we won't be decorating. It's not that we won't be decorating at all, just not quite yet. I've been really torn over how to celebrate differently this year and coming to terms with all the changes in my own physical challenges as well as dealing with major family changes has made me think about things, really think about things. I decided that scaling back our usual decorating style, which takes days to accomplish, might just help us find our way back to the gentle I've been missing. But today I found myself missing more than just the gentle... I also had little pangs inside of me, asking myself whyyy I wasn't busy doing what I can do on my own to start decorating until Enz is home to help. But, I'm still holding out with my new plan and instead decided on baking Christmas cookies to help my spirit begin to feel the Christmassy beautiful instead of fretting over the lack of looks because once again I revert back to my beloved Dodger and his very wise words of, "Looks aren't everything..."

"Looks aren't everything..." also applies to my cookies. I love making cut-out cookies!! And I still use the same old butterscotch cookie recipe that my mom always made with us a wee ones; it never fails in bake-shape or disappoints in taste. I don't go to extremes in decorating but I do try to give each cookie the little extra pizazz-in-simplicity it deserves.

Making these cookies really helped me to realize that even just the little things can burst my spirit into full-on joy! I maybe could have made a few more cookies... if not for the fact that I love the raw cookie dough SO much but I still managed to get enough baked so all is well! I won't be doing as much baking as I normally like to do this year but at least I got the most-important-to-my-heart ones made and ready to share with my family and friends.

The burro, the camel... they've always been nestled tightly in my heart.
I messed up a star so I fixed it by filling in with icing and adding sparkles; that's
the great thing about a low-key celebration, it's not necessarily in the
'perfect' but just simply in the 'being'. 

Trees and ornaments... so, technically, I guess I did start decorating today! ;)

My mom LOVES the giving spirit of Santa to be mixed in with the true
teachings we believe and celebrate so I always make Santa Cookies just for
her... but I dressed my Santas in hats of blue this year (because I still kind of feel
just slightly blue). My mama will still thoroughly love them, I know!

What are the little Holiday traditions that bring you full-on joy??

A little box of treasures.....

My mama usually calls before she visits, so when she just stopped by one afternoon my first thoughts at seeing her car in the drive were of worry and fear that she likely had unhappy news to share. But my worry turned instantly to wonder in excitement as she lifted her arms to pass me the little box she’d been holding and told me, “I have a little box of treasures for you...”

And what a little box of treasures it was!

Treasures, for real!!! I had no idea this much beautiful was tucked away and patiently waiting for me...

The little things my mom had saved for me; little things I knew from as far back as I could remember, little things that bring back memories and feelings of life when it was simple and a kiss and a cuddle healed every hurt. I didn't know my mom had kept these treasures for me, but how grateful I am that she did and also to know that my important memories were ones that she obviously shared with me enough to save them for so many years.


My heart did an actual flip-flop with joy the instant I opened my little box of treasures and found myself face to illustrated-face with my all-time story book heroine, Amelia Bedelia! Oh, how I absolutely LOVED Amelia Bedelia and the hilarity she brought to life in doing her very best to follow directions exactly! Thank you, Peggy Parish, for sharing Amelia Bedelia with the world. And thank you, Mom, for sharing Amelia Bedelia with ME... at least three million times, or more I'm sure! I think maybe my greatest treasure in life was being read to as a kiddo and though I am sure that reading me the same story over and again got old quick, I love that my mom never tried to talk me into a different book but continued to read again and again as though it were the first time we were reading the book... every time. And make fun of me if you will, but I will happily admit that as I again sat and read that little and worn book, I couldn't help but to belly-giggle my way through just like I remember doing almost forty years ago curled up on my mamas lap!

I found nothing but pure delight in every Amelia Bedelia adventure but my FOREVER
favourite was the one on the right, simply titled Amelia Bedelia...



And, who would have guessed but my FOREVER favourite part still remains this
towel change page... as I found while dissolving into giggles reading it to my boys!



It''s A Small World After All...

And then I spied the music box I don't remember ever being without... my earliest memories hold this little music box. When 'night-night time' came each evening, storybook time was always first up followed by a few Charlie Farquharson's Bible Stories on my old plastic record player (which I also still have tucked away) before my mom would quietly come back into the room I shared with my sister to turn off the record player and wind up this music box to help wind us fully down to sleep. It still works and plays... just like I remember.








Aaaaaaand she kept the marbles I loved so much!!!!! I honestly don't know what it is about marbles.... could be just the fact that I feel like I'm losing mine..... but I seriously and completely LOVE marbles. From the time I was old enough to be trusted not to choke on marbles, I had to have marbles. I'm not sure I actually knew the rules of playing marbles but I was always pretty good at making up games with them. Mostly I liked to hold them and sort them and make designs with them and look through them and appreciate them. And now, because my mama kept them, I can keep on appreciating the marbles of my heart! Pure awwwwwesomeness!!!


There were other treasured memories wrapped and waiting beneath for me in that little box of treasures but I won't bore you with them all! We all have treasures that mean to us, that with just a touch can bring back times we maybe thought lost. For me, the truest treasure of life is simply in sharing kindness and gentleness but there are some 'things' to be treasured as well, I'm finding... because those 'things' are connected sharings. I got to share those books with my mom. I got to share that old music box with my sister. I got to share those marbles with my sister, my brother and my friends. And that really is what I'm all about... sharing!

Do you have a little treasure box of your own stashed away somewhere safe? A little treasure box that you can open up and feel the memories come back to you when hold in your hands the treasures within?

Christmas Spirit... lost'n'found.....

December is fast approaching and along with it an unsettled feeling has settled into my usually contented self. I love Christmas, I always have. I love the lights and the ornaments, the movies and the music, the egg nog and the snacks and I used to love (most of all) the quiet, sure togetherness of my family. But the togetherness of my family just isn't there anymore and I am finding it difficult to find my own openness to the time of year that has always filled me with so much beautiful.

My absolute favourite part of Christmas is the truth of what I believe and celebrate, the birth of Baby Jesus.

My second favourite part of Christmas is the Christmas Tree! I just absolutely LOVE decorating the tree!!!

Enz doesn't love the work of decorating the tree but I am beyond
thankful that my boys so love to help me!



And after having decorated the Christmas Tree... I spend hours upon
hours just being grateful in the mesmerising warmth of glow.

As a kid I looked forward to nothing more than decorating the Christmas tree ALL year through and it was torture having to wait until the 22nd or the 23rd of December to be able to put up our tree when all my friends always had theirs up sooooooo much earlier... but my dad was a forester and he was away working in the bush during the weekdays and home on weekends and he would always bring our fresh-cut tree home with him just in time for Christmas. We always decorated the tree together as a family and it was filled with all of our special family heirloom ornaments... my mom still puts one or two of those 'specials' on her tree every year, which I appreciate knowing even though I don't get to actually visit and help anymore.

I didn't really 'get' until now that our family Christmas routine kind of met it's true end after my dad died. Sure, we tried for awhile to make the traditions continue with trees from the tree lot and the regular Christmas dinners but it was never the same... except for the stuff, the stuff remained the same.

Stuff...

My mom LOVES stuff! Our Christmases growing up were so ridiculous with the amount of toys and books and clothes and candy and knickknacks that our house felt like it was overflowing and way too much to handle, even way back then as a child! My favourite time of Christmas was always Christmas Eve because it was quiet and special; we always had lasagna and perogies for dinner (my absolute FAVOURITE dinner of the year because it's the only time we had them as a treat since my mom didn't like either) along with salads and cheesecake for dessert (which us kids didn't like at the time so it all evened out for everyone). After dinner we would head off to Christmas Eve service at our regular church before heading back home to the quiet of the tree light where everything was still and neat, tucked and wrapped. Christmas mornings were early in our house, usually starting around 3:30 am but our parents one Christmas rule was that us kids couldn't wake everyone up or head downstairs until the clock said 5:00..... and then the craziness started. I don't remember a time we weren't in a rush and still opening gifts at 10:30 on a Christmas morning to try and get to Christmas morning service on time and I doubt we ever did actually arrive on time but we always did arrive because it was important to my parents that we knew the reason for all the stuff-gifted hooplah. It didn't really make sense even back then of why my parents went so overboard with gifts or why it's still so important to my mom to just fill the soft Christmas space with stuff but unfortunately, it is. I have tried to get my family to scale back the Christmas 'stuff' for years and my brother had no problem with that since he seems to have chosen to disconnect pretty completely with our family but my mom and sister both still can't seem to stop shopping and collecting like they are trying to make up for something. But this is the year... after all my pleas to cut back on giftage..... this is the year that we finally came to an agreement! We, as a family during Sunday dinners (before we recently ended them) worked out a bunch of ideas, put them on the table and finally met in the middle on the LEAST-upsetting to half of us and the LEAST-agreeable to the other half of us and we set a spending limit. Not perfect but at least it's progress.

Progress is good but it's still not a fix for my soul. Part of me wants to just ignore the Holidays this year and part of me wants to celebrate the beautiful. So, what's the problem? Right?? Well, the problem for me, is that my family is the biggest part of the beautiful and not being able to spend time with them during my most cherished time of the year is upsetting. The worst part is that we live (except for my brother in another Province) less than 15 km's from each other but because of my death-inducing allergies to cats I can't even be in the presence of people who have cats for more than about forty-five minutes before I go into eyes-running-to-swelling-I-can't-see-for-days, throat-swelling-gasping-for-breath, chest-coughing-lungs-piercing PAIN that lasts for days thanks to the second hand dander that people with cats carry. I am the one who was forced to end my attendance at our weekly family dinners because seeing my family for those few hours meant I was sick for at least 3 days every week. Because both my aunt and sister have cats and my mom allows my sisters cat to be in her house for extended periods, I have become unable to visit at any of their houses... maybe it's just me they don't want around; I'd have preferred to have had them just tell me they didn't want me visiting over trying to kill me, though! I'm only kidding... I don't begrudge them their family addition choices, it just sucks to be banished due to health reasons. And before anyone gets on me about allergy reaction suppressants, I do take daily prescriptions to help keep me safe in the event I am out and about and come into contact with anyone in the general public who could have cat dander on them. I was also taking extra allergy medications on top of my dailies on the days I spent time with my family but the allergy is so bad that nothing medicine-wise can fully curb my dangerous reactions and I need to physically stay away.

It wasn't near as bad when it was only my aunt who had a cat, I just made sure to take extra medicine, sit across the room and at the far end of the table but now that there is my aunt, sister and her husband, my mom and her Newf-Husky cross dog who ALL now carry the dander, I can't even sit at the same table with my family and on the now VERY rare occasions we all have to share a dinner, we eat in the living room so I can try to keep distance on an opposite couch in the corner... it sucks. I can't physically share Christmas breakfast or Christmas games and snacks or Christmas dinner with my family anymore. So, for the past two years I have spent (and paid viciously for) only a few short hours sharing gift-opening time with my family. Great for the ones who feel that's the important time but not for me who feels that the quiet together time is really what's most important.

And so I'm torn. But why am I torn? Why am I worrying over whether I should decorate or not when December is still a ways away? Why am I even considering not putting the work into decorating as I so LOVE to do just because I feel guilty that my family has fallen apart into one big, gross dysfunctional outs? Why am I even considering hinging my joy of celebrating on others who don't give the slightest fuck about it???

I write my blogs on-the-fly, I never plan what I'm going to write about, and with the previous paragraph that just made its way in, I realized something... I can't let disappointment overtake my celebration. I have to decorate because the Christmas setting I love so much is necessary for my soul. So necessary for my soul, in fact, that I keep both my Charlie Brown Tree up in my bedroom and a lighted tree up in workshop all year 'round and I would keep a fully decorated tree up in the house year 'round too... if Enz didn't have such a problem with that plan. I've had people tell me I should decorate my shop tree seasonally but no, I don't want to do that, I keep the lights on so that the Christmas Spirit lights my every day but I keep the ornaments on only for he month of December to mark the specialness even in my own ordinary. And I think I just finally realized that it doesn't matter who I can or can't share it all with, it only matters that I share my joy openly with all that I am despite my circumstances. Because that's living... even if we've lost.

Ahhhhh... Charlie Brown.....
my in-house year 'round Christmas comfort...



...and my year 'round workshop Christmas comfort!
Ahhhhh... Working in May!
Cowgirl boots and Christmas Tree make for
one very happy ME!

Since I just now suddenly and finally decided that yes, I will wholeheartedly decorate and that yes, I will wholeheartedly celebrate The Season and The Reason that I celebrate... I now just have to decide how my heart wholly needs to go about it!

Our first Christmas Tree after getting married almost 22 years ago... a 12' Blue Spruce that
began a tradition of huge trees and "crap-how-are-we-going-to-stand-this-thing-up!??" years.

Until the year we decided that an artificial tree might be okaaayyyyy...

Followed by the year I couldn't stand the thought of losing seating area by removing couch sections to make
tree room and we instead bought the upside-down tree... space-saving functionality but still big and bright
and warm and inviting and! Even Enz admitted he loved the way the ornaments hang from this tree
as they catch the light glow and sparkle, carrying it outward.

It's kind of a tough choice treewise because I want it to be right, to feel right... even with so much feeling so wrong right now. I love the upside-down tree because I completely love cozying up on the couch beneath the overhanging branches to watch my favourite Hallmark Christmas movies. But I love the regular-artificial tree too because it shares more of the room with us as one of us. But then there are the moments when I long for the past of a real tree, just like my dad used to search out, cut down and proudly bring home to us... no matter how Charlie Brownish it was. That may be why I also keep my little Charlie Brown Tree up all year, too... Hmmm, maybe there's more to all of this than I even realized, at all!

But, since this year, seating really isn't an issue because it'll be just Enz, the boys and I through the Holidays, we really could go back to a regular right-side-up tree to change things up again. I wish I didn't suck so bad at decision-making! but I still have nine more days until final decision time for this years celebration style...

How do you celebrate your own beliefs for the Holidays? There are so many different beliefs, each as important as every other to celebrate and I want to celebrate your reasons right along with you. I highly doubt I'm the only one going through a little Holiday loneliness and maybe if we pool our loneliness by sharing our individual celebrations, well, maybe we'll find a common space where we really belong in our togetherness!