Yesterday was another day of heart-hurting goodbye...
Saying goodbye to Enz's best friend Enzo was something none of us ever wanted to have happen, including Enzo. Enzo absolutely did not want to leave the life he loved, the family he loved or the friends he loved. Enzo wanted to live, even if continuing to live meant that he had to do it with the excruciating and all-encompassing pain he had spent the past months engulfed in. He somehow found the strength, even just hours before his body decided it could take no more, to adamantly assure the doctors that he was "NOT going anywhere!" and that he was going to be fine.
Enzo was not one to sit back in illness and had been very proactive in aggressively treating the colon cancer he'd been diagnosed with two years ago; he followed the advice and treatments of the doctors who were treating him BUT he also took his own healing into his own hands as he worked simultaneously with a Naturopath helping both his body and his mind to remain as comfortable and as positive as possible through all the unfortunate effects of medical treatment. He found ways while working with the Naturopath as well as working with his brother, a Physiotherapist, to help curb his chemo-induced sickness and neuropathy by working to keep his body strong, even when his body screamed at him that it was too tired to try. Enzo often went straight from chemo to physio and then would call Enz to go for coffee or just to get out together for a chat and a walk... he very rarely let any of his suffering keep him from the things he loved doing and the people he loved doing them with.
Enzo was one who worked hard to keep his important friendships thriving and even through the years he lived in Toronto he and Enz kept connected so that every time he came home to visit it was like not an hour had even passed between them. Born just three days apart to families who were friends, Enz and Enzo were best buds for fifty-two years and to say that Enz is feeling absolutely lost without his daily chats with the best friend he's ever known would be an understatement of massive proportion.
We'd been out at our camp on the evening when Enz had received the message from Enzo's brother, telling us that Enzo had been admitted to hospital again and that this time he wasn't doing well, at all. The following afternoon, once Enzo had been comfortably settled into his room, Enz and I headed in to spend some time with him... both of us were heartfully hoping for a hospital visit just like the ones we'd shared previously with Enzo sitting up in bed with a big smile sharing a laughter-filled chat before we'd walk the hallways or, if he was feeling up to it, all the way down to the cafeteria where he could sit by the windows in the Sunshine. But Enzo wasn't sitting up in bed smiling this time. His eyes opened only twice while we were there but he locked directly onto each of us and he recognised us and could nod just ever so slightly so we knew he understood us. And when we left him so he would feel content to get the rest his body needed rather than trying to force his eyes open for us he managed somehow to whisper, "Coffee... soon....... soon........." It was their 'thing' in making sure they kept their connection, coffee and a chat two or three times a week whenever Enzo was between treatment appointments and Enz had a few minutes he could leave work and even through the pain and exhaustion overtaking him, he wanted to make sure Enz knew they would be back to normal 'soon'.
Enzo was also the 'hub' of the group that slowly grew in friendship over the years of Holiday visits home. Every Christmas he would get us all together with him and his cousin, Frank, for an outing, usually to a pub for dinner or drinks and appetizers if it was later in the evening and eventually it turned into a strong friendship for all of us, Enzo and I even went on our Alaska cruise with Rob and Corinne, the other couple in the group. Once Enzo had moved back home to Thunder Bay, the Holiday Group grew closer and the four guys, Enzo, Enz, Rob and Peter (who are brothers) even formed a weekly coffee/stockbroker meeting group as they tried to figure out how to properly invest for their retirements... Corinne and I sometimes tagged along but we soon realized how boring the 'meetings' were and usually found ourselves at the table next door to them instead... Turns out none of the guys really ever figured out how do to do anything but unfortunately buy HIGH and sell LOW so the group pretty quickly fell back to all-inclusive coffee chat dates! They tried aaand they had fun, that was the main thing! So yesterday, at the funeral for the friend we all cared so deeply about... it was really hard to have to watch the guys... Enz, Rob, Peter and Frank along with another of Enzo's cousins and his nephew in their dreaded but honoured roles of Pallbearers on a day so hard to have to face. The circle of best friends standing guard over the one they will now have to learn to live without.
Enzo had a love for travelling and we looked forward to the stories of the people, the cultures, the exploring he immersed himself fully into throughout his incredible adventures to Guatemala, Spain, Honduras, Mexico among others and everywhere he went, he helped wherever and however he was needed. He didn't travel to holiday, he travelled to work, helping people who needed help in creating better living conditions for themselves. He learned to speak fluent Spanish and volunteered his university-earned science and teaching/counselling skills in orphanages and villages who welcomed him to share his knowledge and the children he worked with filled his heart with their desire to learn and their ability to thrive in some of the harshest surroundings he could even bear to have to experience. Still, Enzo's dream was to get back to healthy so he could get back to exploring the world and making new and lasting relationships in wherever his future travels would take him.
We'd all been happy to have our friend closeby after he had moved back home but we all knew that he planned to be away as much as he could, working in service to those who needed his help around the world. But then, once he became an uncle, his travelling heart grew roots even he could not ignore and it was the birth of Enzo' beautiful niece that finally cemented his resolve to stay in Thunder Bay. Enz and I totally understood his want to be a constant in his niece's life because living so far away from the niece and nephews we love so much has been really hard for us. The three of us kind of 'got' each other in that way of not having been able to have our own kiddoes but in wanting so badly to be able to, instead found the blessing in, for me being an aunty, and for them getting to be the greatest uncles ever! Enzo's niece was without doubt the sunshine of his world and I only hope she will remember how proud he was to receive the gift of being her uncle because she really did 'hang the moon' for him and the smiles of pure proud'n'joy that filled him at just the mention of her name was really a sight of beautiful.
The one trip he had always dreamed of taking and had talked about for all the twenty-four years I have been fortunate enough to share friendship with him was Peru... he was enthralled with the Inca City history and he wanted desperately to full-on experience the great Machu Picchu Trail. And he did! A few years back he made the Machu Picchu trek of his dreams and to say it lived up to his expectation wouldn't be anywhere near enough... it far surpassed his every expectation and he came home filled with a wonder I can't even begin to describe. I am so grateful he got to truly live his ultimate dream.
Enz was lucky to get a few more minutes with Enzo just a couple of hours before his body could take no more. The last time I saw Enzo was on that last hospital visit a day and a half before. I remember him lying so in pain and struggling to breathe but even when I look back to that day, last week, I don't see him like that.
I see him like this...
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| 4200m... The highest point on the trail to Machu Pichu in Peru. |
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