The Incredibly Respectful Cookie Call...

I was having a really great day... I was getting things done, my boys had been happy to get to play outside in the fresh air and sunshine for a few minutes, I had even finished sewing up the last bits on the boys Spring jackets; life was awesome!

And then my husband phoned from work. And it aaaaaallllllll turned to crap.....

It went a little something like this:



"H'lloooooooo..." - my usual greeting when I see his number on the phone.

"Hey... one of the guys kids is selling frozen cookie dough for school or hockey or somethin'..... what kinds do you want?"

"Okay... well, am I supposed to just guess at what kinds there might be???"

"Oh... yeah hang on, there's uh... where the hell is the list? KELLYYYYYY!!! Did you take the cookie list? ..... Hang on, she's bringing it back... Okay, there's White Chocolate Macadamia Nut, Peanut Butter, Oatmeal Raisin..."

"Oooooh, Oatmeal Raisin, please!" I interrupted him immediately and excitedly.

"No, you don't like raisins... Okay I forgot where I was, so there's White Choc....."

"Wait! I just said 'Oatmeal Raisin'!"

"But you DON'T like RAISINNNNNS!!!"

"I don't like LIGHT RAISINS and Oatmeal Raisin Cookies are usually ALWAYS made with DARK RAISINS... and I LOVE Oatmeal Raisin COOKIES!!!!!"

"And what if these ones are made with LIGHT RAISINS, GILLIAN?!! What then? We'll be stuck with these cookie doughs in our freezer FOREVER!!"

"Okay, well how 'bout you just tell me what the MOTHERFUCK KIND yooouuuuuu want then?!!"

"Okay, I'll give you the options, let me just say them all this time before you answer... we have... White Chocolate Macadamia Nut, Peanut Butter, Oatmeal Raisin, Carn..."

"Okay," I jumped in again, "if I'm not allowed to have Oatmeal Raisin then why THE FUCK would you even give me that option from the list again???"

"Oh, for fucksakes..... GILLIAN... it's on the list and I'm just reading you the whole motherfuckin' list!"

"Fine! Tell me the whole motherfuckin' list... I just can't wait to hear the rest!"

"Okay... *deep breath* there's White Chocolate Macadamia Nut, Peanut Butter..... *pause*..... Oatmeal Raisin ..... *pause*..... Chocolate Chocolate-Chip and Carnival. And there's also an assortment box of muffins."

"What the fuck kind'a cookie is 'Carnival'?"

"I don't know, they look okay, though. Do you want me to order the Carnival ones?"

"No. But I want you to order the Oatmeal Raisin ones..."


*silence ensues*


"Do you want me to order the Variety Assortment of Muffins?"

"I don't like muffins..."

"Okay, I'll get us one box of the muffins."

"You're an asshole."

"Which cookies do you want, Gillian???"

"I don't know... I guess just order the White Chocolate Macadamia Nut, Peanut Butter..... and Oatmeal Raisin."

"Okay, so I marked down the muffins, the White Chocolate, the Peanut Butter and the Carnival cookies."

"FUCK YOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!!!" *click* deep breath*



TWO WEEKS LATER:


"H'lloooooooo..."

"Hey... the cookie dough and muffins are in and they accidentally ordered too many boxes of Oatmeal Raisin so I got you two boxes, he's bringing them in to me tomorrow."

*silence*

*click*


Turns out the Oatmeal Raisin Cookies are, in fact, made with DARK raisins and they are pure (and easy) deliciousness... well, easy if you don't count the pure pissed-offness Hell I had to go through in getting them!!

Yay for Oatmeal Raisin Cookies!!!