Habitual annoyingness...

Yep... it's been an amazingly fun week in our house!

It's been a bit of a learning experience actually... learning that Enz and I would likely NOT have survived marriage for this long if we had ever spent as much time together as we've had to over the past days.  Apparently, I make him CAA-RA-ZAYYYYY with my annoyingness. Well, okay then! But, to be completely honest... he's not exactly Mr. Un-annoying, himself!

The past couple of years has been challenging in the health department for both of us... still, we have been incredibly blessed in our ableness to heal and that is a gift we don't take lightly. We know there are people who are dealing with far greater hardships than us, but fear and worry manages, at times, to find us all.

It all started with a lump, and I don't mean Enz, himself... it was an actual lump in Enz's neck which turned out to be a benign tumour, thankfully. Though the tumour wasn't cancerous, it was still dangerous due to it's position and aggressive growth rate. The surgeon had felt safe leaving it for a few months, which Enz was happy for since he had gone through three kidney stone surgeries just nine months ago and was not looking forward to another surgery, and especially one that involved peeling off part of his face to accomplish. I was concerned with the waiting because just looking at him, I swore it was growing, and fast. I started bugging him to call and see if he could get on the cancellation list which finally paid off for getting him in sooner.

So, a week ago Enz had his surgery and he is extremely lucky he did! The surgeon was shocked at how much and how quickly the tumour had grown and in only a couple of months since the first imaging of safe tumour size and placement, it had grown significantly larger as well as around and through his two main facial nerves. The nerve to the ear was permanently damaged but Enz will just have to be extra careful in the wintertime to avoid accidental frostbite and once the ear swelling lessens it may not bother him as much as it is right now. We had expected a two to three hour surgery but in the end it had taken almost four hours and was, unfortunately, not without complication. In working to try and save the two very important nerves (the one that controls the eye and the one that controls the mouth), the tumour had burst before removal which gives a greater chance that it might return in multiples and upon the nerves themselves which would not be fun. The surgeon is now looking heavily into whether or not radiation treatments will be necessary since the tumours may not be as kind in returning in benign form... but our hopes are set for him not to have to go that route! Our hopes are actually that the tumour will never return in any form. Our hopes are high but our prayers are that we will  find the peace in whatever God trusts we can handle.

Enz made himself get up and walk as soon as the anesthetic started to
wear off... anything to avoid a forced catheter!

I walked behind him to help make sure his
hospital gown stayed closed... Well, okay,
it was more so I would be ready to snap a
picture if it opened. ;)

Anyhow, Enz came through the surgery and fortunately didn't suffer any of the pukey effects of the anesthetic but I've never seen him so pained and exhausted which was hard. He spent the night in the hospital but was doing well on the second afternoon after his drainage tubes were removed that he was able to come home.

Enz really wanted the bandage off and I quickly realized his surgeon had not
been joking when he had prepare us that Enz would look like Freankenstein.

10 stitches and 20 staples hurt my heart even to have to look
at, and of course I got the fun (terrifying) job of applying
the antibiotic ointment thrice daily to the whole shebang. :(

Play was very concerned and kept close but not tooooo
close watch when Enz came home from the hospital
but his brother, Day, stuck far away
from Dad and close to Mama in his concern...

The first couple of days were fine because Enz was pretty looped and sleepy from his antibiotics and pain medication. It was really hard to watch him, though... I would much have preferred to be the one in pain than to have to watch him in pain.

Until he became the 'pain'...

Twenty-two years we've been married and in the past week I have learned the reason we've lasted this long; barely any actual time spent in togetherness! Enz usually works very long hours but in being home to heal this week I have learned that I might not have survived up until now if we had to share more space than we do because my "lazy habits make him want to explode in his frustration!!!"

He calls them lazy, I call them water/energy-saving.

It all came to a head a couple of days ago when he was working on his laptop on one side of the kitchen island and I was standing on the opposite side of the island having a little snack. The boys and I had come in from the workshop for their fruit snack time and I was a little famished too, so we ALL technically came inside for snack. Enz had been on the phone and as I nonchalantly took my second bite of roast beef deli meat, Enz had found himself unable to hold back:

"It makes me INSANNNE when you DO that, GILLIANNNNN!!!!!!!"

"Do what?" I asked baffled as I opened and dug into the hot genoa salami bag.

"THAT!!! Just get a fucking PLATE!"

"But then I have to wash a plate." I answered simply.

"Just put it in the dishwasher!"

"But then I have to walk to the dishwasher, open it... find a spot..... it's annoying."

"YOU'RE ANNOYING!!!"

"Want some cheese?" I offered him as I turned to pull a brick of cheese from the refrigerator.

"No thanks."

"Are you sure?" I asked as I twisted and broke off a chunk, "it's really good."















"And THAT... that makes me insane, too! Why can't you get a knife and CUT a chunk off??!"

"Because then I'd have to wash the knife and I just hate washing dishes."

"Again... GILLIAN..... we have a DISHWASHERRRRR!!!"

"But then I'd have to..."

"GILLIAN!!"

"I think you're just in pain and overtired, Enz, you should go have a rest..." I told him simply before I put the deli meats and cheese back neatly away in the fridge and headed back out to the shop.

When I came back inside a little later on and found myself in need of my usual little afternoon treat and saw Enz was still working I wavered a little on whether or not I really wanted to attempt another tiny snack. I did really want it. So, out came my treat... along with an outburst:























"GILLIAN!"

"What?!! I though you'd be happy... I'm using a spoon this time!"

"I use that peanut butter TOO, you know...?!!"

"I know!! I promise you, though, I absolutely NEVER double-dunk the spoon... usually just one spoonful is enough of a treat, but on the rare occasion I want two spoonfuls I always get a clean spoon and then put both in the dishwasher and it breaks even my saving of plates and utensils from just picking at snacks for the rest of the day....."

"I don't even know what to say to you, Gillian..."

*silence*

"Do you want me to make you spoonful treat, Vincenzo?"

*staredown*

"I'll take that as a 'no'..." I said as I put the jars aways and moved to retrieve the boys empty fruit bowls before taking them for their after-snack time bathroom break.

And just so you all will know... Enz makes me insane over some of his snack habits, too. It makes me crazy when he eats ricotta cheese out of a coffee cup, it makes me insane when he takes a handful of chips or nuts or dried figs and just drops them on his knee instead of on a napkin and it forces me BEYOND madness when he dunks his cookies in his coffee.

Technically, our annoyances usually cancel the others out, which is maybe our saving grace..

Somehow, even through all my annoyingness, we both survived and Enz is slowly healing even though he is still having intermittent bouts of pain. Today wiped him out with his stitch/staple removal and he only worked for a little while before crashing, which I think his body really needed... to just be still! He's pretty upset with how awful his scar looks but I assured him he never really looked that good in the first place so he really shouldn't worry.

This morning before we left to have his stitches/staples removed...

...and after. Poor guy is not impressed and with the scar came a sudden realization
that it had all actually happened. The scar will fade as he heals but I do totally get
his upset today, he's been through the wringer and he's earned the moment of upset.

Poor Enz... he's been through a lot this week and he still has awhile to go in healing the trauma that happened surgically on the inside BUT... he's healing and that is something to be grateful for!

All in all, even though we don't spend a lot of time together, it's probably safe to say, after this week, that it's likely a good thing. However, since he'll be retiring in the next few years I am going to try to get better at using plates and cutlery because once he's fully retired he should have a lot more available time to do dishes and I won't feel so bad for dirtying them.

So, I'm curious... What are the habits that make YOUR significant other crazy? Do you know those habits annoy or, like me, did you have not a clue until he or she finally snapped as Enz did in his pain medication induced bluntness? Or are you the one who gets crazy over the habits of others?