Facetime Convo with my 7-year-old Nephew!

"Hi!" (close-up zoom on his cute lil' face)
"H-whoahhh... holy-MOLYYY... what the heck happened to your forehead???"
"What?"
"How'd you get that huge goose egg??"
"Oh, my brother."
"Your brother did that to you!??"
"Yup."
"How?"
"He was patting me on my head and he crashed me into a bookshelf."
"What??? What kind of a 'pat on your head' can send you crashing into a bookshelf and leave you with a goose egg like that??!"
"I dunno."
"Did you cry?"
"Yup."
"Does it hurt?"
"Not really." (scans down to show his bandaged knee)
"What did you do to your knee?!!"
"My brother... in the pool."
"He did that, too?"
"Yup. And I have this one, too..." (sticks bony, elbow to camera to show the cut he has there) "I don't remember how I got this one, though."
"Well, if I was to hazzard a guess, I'd say maybe your brother?"
"Prob'ly."

He finally zooms back to his cute lil' face and though I try, I just can't stop laughing at his poor lil' forehead and his entirely nonchalant explanations but then I notice another dark spot on his cheek.

"What else did you do to your poor face?"
"What? Where??"
"On your cheek, there's a dark spot... please tell me it's not blood!"
"Oh, right here?" (leans closer and points)
"Yeah, what happened there?"

He rubs his finger into the spot and looks at it before answering.

"Oh, that one's just chocolate."
"It's almost bedtime, what are you doing eating chocolate right before bed??"
"No, I didn't! I had a chocolate scone for breakfast today... I think it's from that."
"From breakfast??? It's 9:37 at NIGHT!! Are you telling me you didn't wash your face even once, allllll day long??
"Well, I'm going to have a shower right no-owwww..."
"But you went through the whole day with chocolate on your face! How do you seriously go through an entire day with chocolate on your face??!"
"Easy, I'm busy."

*silence*

"Go have your shower and use lots of soap... everywhere! But, be careful around your wounds so the soap doesn't sting your scrapes."
"I've already put soap in them, it doesn't hurt... Oh, act'lly, this one on my head is new so I don't know if it'll hurt yet."
"Well, just be careful and tell me next time if it hurt... but I hope it doesn't hurt."
"Okay, and also, I'm changin' my name to SuperBoy... with a capital 'S' and a capital 'B'."
"Good to know. Goodnight, SuperBoy."
"Goodnight."